Hopeless Admiration
by difficile
Summary: Most of the time Vaan would catch himself staring at Balthier and stop before anyone noticed. But one time he didn't get so lucky. BalVaan, Oneshot.


_**A/N: Got this little idea in my head and decided to write a little funny drabble. Hope you like it. **_

_**I don't own Final Fantasy, Square Enix is God, etc. etc. Nor do I own anything by the band The Feeling.**_

_Italicized sentences are Vaan's thoughts._

* * *

**Hopeless Admiration**

_"Hey, show some love._

_You ain't so tough."_

_(The Feeling – "Fill My Little World")_

* * *

Sometimes Vaan would catch himself staring at Balthier. It's not that easy to avoid, after all – especially if one was in the same pathetically infatuated situation as Vaan. To the naive, ambitious teen, Balthier was almost like a godly figure, as amusing as it sounded; he was everything Vaan wanted to be.

Everything Vaan _wanted_.

Whether it was riding on the _Strahl_, trudging through the wastelands towards their next destination, or any other time Balthier happened to be around, Vaan would steal a glance or so.

And then he'd get stuck. His eyes would latch onto one of Balthier's intriguing facial features and just rest there, fascinating the blonde for quite a while. It wasn't long until Vaan had every detail memorized flawlessly, all the way down to the slope of his nose, the arch of his eyebrows, and the one barely noticeable dimple that showed whenever the sky pirate chose to grin. It was pathetic, and Vaan realized that with amused irony. But that didn't stop him. Vaan's hopeless admiration for the brave sky pirate was always apparent in his eyes whenever he'd look at the brunette… And along with his stare, he'd start to wonder many things.

At first when he met Balthier his little thoughts were lackadaisical, small little observations he'd wonder about when staring at the back of his head when riding on the _Strahl_.

_How the hell does he get that vest on every morning? There are like, five or more clips in the back. Maybe Fran helps him… though I won't ask her._

_And those pants, too…They look…painful. I doubt Fran helps him with that. I definitely won't ask her._

_I bet those gold earrings are clip-ins._

_Why does he wear those gaudy rings? They look so plastic… They might be jewels for all I know._

And as it became apparent that he and Balthier would be spending more time together (not necessarily alone, considering the four others with them), Vaan's thoughts would change to a fonder degree before becoming unfathomably hopeless.

_Is he aware of that little eye twitch he always gets when he's thinking? It's kind of cute._

_What does his hair feel like? I bet it's not as soft as it looks. I'd still like to touch it, though. It's always so shiny. _

_He should smile more often. What's he always hiding behind that serious face?_

_I wonder… what it's like to kiss him. Or… or at least hold him._

_He seems like the type who wouldn't hold back, at least not too tight._

…_But as long as he'd hold me, I wouldn't mind._

* * *

_"All I want is some evidence_

_that you really like me."_

* * *

Vaan was stuck in puppy love for a while. He knew, however, that the little crush he was going through would not escalate to any higher degree than it already was _– this is just a crush, a passing phase_, he would tell himself.

The only problem? It wasn't passing. Not quick enough, at least. Even when he was trying to help himself, Vaan couldn't fight the magnetic attraction to every miniscule detail of Balthier the sky pirate.

Oh yes, most of the time Vaan would catch himself staring at Balthier and stop.

But other times… he wasn't so lucky.

It was just another day with the six of them – Vaan, Balthier, Fran, Penelo, Basch, and Ashe. A day dedicated to following hunting marks to earn some spare gil, that was all. Vaan thought he could occupy himself by staring out the large windows of the_ Strahl_, but it wasn't long until he found the sight of passing fluffy clouds rather boring.

The pilot in front of him, however, was far from so. Vaan's eyes narrowed and he pouted silently to himself; he could barely see anything over the top of Balthier's large pilot seat, save for a few strands of spiked up hair. He'd have to lean over and rest his head against the side of the _Strahl's_ interior just to get a glimpse of his profile.

But hey, beggars can't be choosers, right? Right. With a quiet sigh, Vaan leaned his head against the side wall of the beautiful airship and grinned slightly as he watched Balthier's concentrated gaze on the sky ahead.

_He's passionate about what he does. That look in his eyes… he doesn't notice anything else around him, only the vast sky ahead._

_But that makes him a good target to stare at. He has no idea, so let's keep it that way._

Vaan soon fell into some sort of daze. His eyes were open, but he was lost in a kind of different conscience, losing himself in Balthier's eyes (or at least the one that was visible, what with Vaan's partially blocked view) that were still transfixed ahead.

_I never noticed that small sunburst of hazel around the iris… And how it slowly fades into that rich brown._

_They're so – _

"Ow!" Vaan was thrown from his blissful stupor and glared at the one beside him who had nudged his side. _Penelo!_ Vaan gave her a questioning look, blinking a few times.

Penelo didn't say anything, hoping Vaan would get a clue. Said blonde, however, failed to notice her eyes dart from him to Balthier frantically, and the expression of suppressed amusement apparent on her face. Not in the mood to read his best friend's mind, whatever she was thinking, Vaan rested his head back to wear it was so he could resume his staring. He was more than surprised, though, to find a pair of brown eyes staring right back at him through the small gap between the pilot's chair and the side wall of the _Strahl_.

Vaan froze, eyes staring straight back at Balthier as the realization suddenly sank in. Well, more like exploded. _Please… don't tell me he noticed. Please, please, __**please**__._

Balthier was grinning that condescending yet charming grin of his, and with horror Vaan had found himself caught.

_How long has he been noticing?!_

Penelo broke the silence with a small giggle that slipped from her lips. Suddenly Vaan felt like a deer in the headlights.

Balthier continued to look slightly back at Vaan, and the blonde – not even _meaning to_ – noticed that the sky pirate was grinning just by the sparkle in his eyes.

"Am I really that interesting, Vaan?" Balthier chuckled. "Honestly, I'm afraid I'll have to start charging you by the hour for these little sessions."

"500 gil, I'd say," Fran put in her two cents.

"That's quite a long time of saving for you, Vaan," Basch said.

"At least five thousand gil…" Ashe had started.

"For today," Penelo finished jokingly.

Vaan's blue eyes widened to an immeasurable degree and he looked around him in pure abashment.

_Tell me this isn't happening!_

The _Strahl_ echoed laughter for a moment, mostly from a giggling Penelo and an oddly cheerful Ashe (she must have been enjoying Vaan's mortification greatly.) And all the while, Balthier never stopped his own stare that Vaan avoided with much desperation. He had no way to explain himself – how would he?

"_Oh sorry Balthier, I'm just hopelessly in love with you and fill the empty void of your love in my heart by staring at you whenever you happen to be around. That's all. Carry on."_

Yes, _that_ explanation would turn out well. Vaan remained silent, not responding to anyone. The laughter soon died down and all six of them fell into a silence, yet Balthier never stopped his own stare that Vaan avoided with much desperation.

How he could possibly pilot his airship and maintain a cocky stare behind him was beyond Vaan. He wished Balthier would just turn around. Just turn around and treat Vaan like he was invisible again. Slowly, with trepidation, Vaan brought his eyes back up to see if Balthier had finally turned back around.

He hadn't.

Once again, Vaan lost himself in Balthier's eyes. They stared at each other for just a moment…

And Balthier winked.

* * *

_**A/N: Haha, I loved how this looked in my head. I was going to make this a bit more serious, with some angsty unrequited love and all… But then I got this amazingly amusing image in my mind of Vaan in such a daze that he doesn't even know Balthier has been staring right back. Hahaha! Poor Vaan. Please tell me what you think by writing a review for this review whore.**_


End file.
